I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
