Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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