Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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