If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
