yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
