I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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