I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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