I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
