The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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