And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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