I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
