At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
