I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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