I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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