i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize