now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize