He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
