yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
