So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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