i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
