Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
