Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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