i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
