I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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