Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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