why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
