I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
