My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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