Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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