i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i now understand why vodka
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
