he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
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after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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