Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
this hospital has no fireball
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
