I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
