Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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