Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
