looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize