Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
