Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
