Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
