glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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