If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
