I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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