dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we should paint friendship bongs
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
