If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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