oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
