I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
