bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
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She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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