from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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