he wants to bone in the snuggie
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
