just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
