just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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