oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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