We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
