He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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