I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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