can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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