yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
